You have to build your recovery the same way you built your addiction

Everyday started out the same for a couple years. I would wake up find my bottles of Vicodin & take 3 or 4 depending on how many were left in the bottles, yes bottles. Once I began to feel “normal” I would start calling & texting my dealers because I knew the 30 or 40 10mg pills wouldn’t last the entire day.

At this point I’m my life I owned a band rehearsal studio so my days weren’t 9 to 5. My days were sometimes not even coming home, after I got in touch with everyone I would start making my trips & meeting up to make sure I didn’t run out. This was a daily thing that occupied more time than my full time business I was also trying to run, but I knew what the result would be if I didn’t get those refills.

The moment I knew

After the accident that created the addiction & the injury healed I was fully aware I was a full blown addict. Once the injury healed & I stop taking the meds I felt like I had the flu or just run down from work. (So at this point the realization hadn’t kicked in I was addicted.)

I decided I would take a couple yellows thinking maybe it would make me feel a little better. Back in my addiction days Vicodin 10mg was the color yellow & we would call them sunshine simply because in the beginning they would make you have a bright sun shiny day, but 15 minutes after taking the pills suddenly the “flu” run down feeling was gone. That was the second I realized I was an addict.

Finding QuickMD

The funny thing is QuickMD was not my first, second, third choice. My first couple of trips to find help came with being treated like I was trash, a lower life form that came with being put down and spoken to like I committed an awful crime. I did end up finding what I thought was a great doctor, but I believe he was more interested in the office payment than what happens to me.

Then I stumbled across QuickMD on Facebook and figured let’s give it a try. I don’t have to drive to see the doc, I don’t have to be face to face with someone who will likely end up treating me the same as the others. That’s until I spoke with my doctor at Quick MD. He listens, he puts up with my sometimes crabby mode, but still tries to make sure I’m staying on track and I greatly appreciate that.

What I’d tell someone else

I’m coming from a 30 to 40 pills a day Vicodin habit. You can shake the monster off your back! There is a light at the end of the addiction tunnel, but you gotta want differently. You have to build your recovery the same way you built your addiction day by day. Yes, you might fall off the wagon we all have, but that’s not a set back. That’s being human in the death grip of an addiction.

These doctors can help point you in the right direction and hold you accountable, but only you know what it’s like living as an addict and only you can break the cycle. You just have to want it and since you may be here reading this you’re wanting it. That’s the first step! Keep up the good work, you can do it, it can be done.

I found this to be a very weird statement in the beginning, but life is so much better without a drug or alcohol, but you forget what that’s like. Take the chance to rediscover and don’t look back. You won’t miss it, not even a little bit. I don’t even know where to start with life after addiction.

Life today

I’m sober over 10 years. I’m married 10 years and we have a wonderful 11 year old daughter. I now own another successful business where I just sold half of it to further life with futures trading. Hopefully the next addiction committee panel I’m involved in, I’ll have made my first million!